But I remember a Barbie Cake my mom made when I was very young.I remember walking to Friend Debbie's house when I was three.
I remember a white rabbit Halloween costume my mother made for me (about the same time).
I remember being at Debbie's house. We were supposed to be taking a nap but we quietly slipped into the kitchen and ate fudge bars from the freezer.
I remember being so shy, never knowing what to say, always feeling out of place.
I remember throwing a penny into a wishing well and wishing for long golden hair and big blue eyes like my cousin Roxanne who I thought was the most beautiful girl in the world.
I remember going to the library with my mom and coming home with piles of books. And I would read them all!
I never played with baby dolls.I was a Barbie doll girl for years. I played with them for a long time.
I read and read and read. I started a journal when I was in fourth grade. I wish I had kept it up (when I began one at age 14 I have since then -- that is 30 years). I remember writing about making cookies and walking up to the neighbor's house where a girl squished a leopard frog underneath her foot. I thought that was so sad at the time and disgusting.
Isn't that beautiful?
Can you sense the profoundness of those words?
What does a weaned child feel?
He feels content, safe in his mother's arms, wanting nothing but to stay right there.
That is how God wants us to feel every day, safe in Him, secure in Him, content in Him, knowing He loves us and will never stop taking care of us.
She is my extreme child -- extreme energy on one side, extreme gloom-and-doom on the other.
Part of this is her history. I've learned so much parenting her.
So often she worries and worries and worries about things that she doesn't need to worry about. Out of all my kids (and maybe I've only said this to her) I have to say, 'Trust me. I'm your mama. I love you. Let me take care of this."
When I've said words like that to her I realize this is what God tries to tell His kids all the time.
"Quit worrying Child. I got it covered."
(Incidentally while I'm writing this she comes down the stairs and looks so depressed. I say, "what's wrong?" She says, "The candy tax." I told her she'd have a candy tax on her candy....I had to assure her it was no big deal. It just meant her dad took a few of the fun-sized candy bars out of her treat bag....OH! She says...she probably worried all night about that)
"Whatever the LORD pleases, He does" Psalm 135:6a
And do you know what pleases the Father? To love us and take of us and help us be the people He's created us to be.
The reason I told you a bit about Little Jane is because it is a great exercise to remember what you were like as a child. Often, if you've lost your way inside and you've forgotten who you are, if you take time to remember what you enjoyed as a child, there is a truth in there for you today.
Think on it. Relax. Let God take care of it. And enjoy life.